Unconditional love sucks.

There's no point waiting wishing wanting,
no point sitting down contemplating.
When all you feel is being used,
Together they feel amused.

Emotions like jealousy all kept bottled inside,
It sucks knowing you mean nothing to the person you think of every night.
Am I right?
What's the use of writing all these poems,
When the people don't even see em'.

The way I work so hard for things,
They just take away from me.
The joy and fun it all brings,
All there with them for you to see without me.

No matter how much I hate being reminded of you,
I never mind a little glimpse.
But when memories fall in and tears start to roll,
I need to get back on track and give my face a lil' rinse.

I'm tired of all these shist,
I just wished you didn't exist.
To make me smile and pull me down again,
Give me a rest, let me be sane.

Maybe the power of the mind can help,
To change the way I once thought I felt.
Because no matter how my imagination thinks true,
I can never be with you.

Edit : Please don't be fooled by the first paragraph. I have an explanation.
Edit 2: If you can't stand emotional bullshit, skip to paragraph 3 now.

Why?
Why not me?
A chance.
Its all I need, I'll take it.
I just don't want to live like this anymore.
I'm not who I wanted myself to be.
There's just full of nothing, and nothing.
I really really hate myself.
There's no point in doing anything, anything.
Day by day, just wasting my life away.
I just want someone to be truly truly happy.
Not just a stint of laughter.
Not just a fake smile to everyone.
Someone who is really happy in everything he does.
Just knowing, just just knowing I was the person there to make that someone so happy.
I can't see it.

I don't even know why I'm being emotional. Its not like I'm gonna die anytime soon.
But really, I don't want to live the life I have. For some reason.
Everybody's got their problems I know. And I have the least of it.
"Don't know what he's got"? I don't know what I've got.
I'm not fit to judge at all.

Just to let you know I've regained my sanity. The first paragraph was a bunch of crap I don't know what I was talking about. The second one was somewhere between sane and emo.
Sanemo.

There you go. A lame joke for you. I have reason to believe I'm myself again. So its 11.37pm, and I'm not yet asleep. Surprise, surprise. Ahh, my life is kinda boring. I want to get a job. A REAL JOB. Nah, I doubt that'd help my boring life in any way. Hmm, someone happy huh.

LIGHTBULBZ.

I'll make a checklist. To.. make me feel better about myself. To keep my life on track. Make sure I know what I'm doing you know? Ah. Sigh.

You know, sometimes I really wonder what I'd be like if that fateful day turned out differently. Would I be more happy, more daring, more caring, more.. me? I figure I probably would. But, fact of the matter is, that day was that day. From the moment I got out of that vehicle, my future was this. For better or for worse, I've yet to know. Well, until another fateful day. I'll be living the life one decision brought me.

-Renald
Nobody reads this crap anymore do they.

If I were you I would fall for me
Keep every promise, answer my calls
And I would never let you down, no

If I were you I would turn that car around
Come speeding back tonight
And I, I would wonder how
I got so lucky that I'm right here with you
If I were you I know exactly what to do

If you wanna go to sleep I got a lullaby
I know exactly what to say and i would do what you need
If I were you, I would fall for me
Yeah, I would fall for me

If I were you I would drop out of school
Forget the grades, you'd have it made
You'll see, you belong to me
If I could make you realize that all you want is all
I've got
Please stay here and don't ever leave, no

I'm so happy that I'm right here with you
Loving you is really all I've wanted to do

I would take you by the hand and I would keep holding
tight
And if you wanna go to sleep I got a lullaby
I know exactly what to say and I would do what you need
If I were you I'd fall
Again and again and know if you have any doubt
And if you ever for a second forget what you've found
I'll show you the world, I'll make you believe
If I were you, I would fall for me

I'd fall hard and fast and I'd never look back if I
were you
Just close your eyes and you'll see, yeah

I would take you by the hand and I would keep holding
tight
If you wanna go to sleep I got a lullaby
I know exactly what to say and I would do what you need
If I were you, I'd fall again and again
And know if you have any doubt
And if you ever for a second forget what you've found
I'll show you the world, I'll make you believe

If I were you, I would fall for me, for me, for me,
yeah
I would fall for me, for me, for me, oh
I'd fall for me, for me, for me, yeah
I would fall for me, for me, for me
If I were you, I would fall for me.

Feeling so unappreciated. Tch, psh, pfft, hmph.

Well, my next post would be my last. It'll include the elusive video blog I was talking about, if you even reading. I'll tag everyone one last time and blogger will be off my url thingy. For a while at least. I'm serious.

My break from studying was supposed to stop like, 10 minutes ago but.. rest is important as well am I right? So.. Imma eat dinner, watch spongebob, then come back for a chionging session. That's all for today.

Someone somebody something. Right. I totally understand.

-Renald
Enough songs, enough bullshit. Its time to go, its time to leave this place. Leave this hell. Well, in my mind at least.

Meeting up with 'complete' strangers at 7. Hope everything turns out well.


I have plenty of time till then, then I thought maybe I'd do the video blog thing now. But then I realised my hair was still in 'messymode', so.. no. If you were thinking, "How messy can it get?" Well then, I've took a picture. Non-inclusive of my face.



Now imagine that thing on my head. Now now, i know you might say, my hair is always so spiky. But no, its neater than that, normally. I'm having what you call a, 'Bad Hair Day'. Its actually an intentional one but let's not go to story mode again..


At the moment I'm still actually wondering why I bothered to post a picture of my hair up. I mean, there are lots of other constructive things I could have done.. BUT MAYBE, just maybe, somewhere near in the future, aliens are trying to find out more about humans and shit, so they sent an internet virus of sorts, and came onto this very blog.


They will then examine my hair, the colour, shape, texture, and maybe possibly my personality from the picture of my hair ITSELF. I dont know, they might already have that technology. Yeah, as I was saying. Since my personality is so kind and cool, the aliens will realise that they've made a huge mistake wasting so much time sending those machines of theirs to Earth and basically just come on down. To the white house, shake their green slimy hands with Mr Obama and they'll give us the technology to stop the destruction of the Earth. Then we'll work together, to build a bridge between extraterrestials and humans. So there will be a new tourist attraction, somewhere in Town Oogladoofus up there in Mars. Then the whole world will change forever, maybe they'll iniatate some sort of plan to COMBINE the two planets together, then the world will be greener, literally. And the change of evolution would be massive!


Can you imagine green people with pointy ears on top of their heads on each side, with their heads and body reasonably huge, and they'd wear like white and brown dirty humans clothes and have donkeys as best friends? Oh wait that's just Shrek.


But yeah, you'll see 'people' with their toes growing out of their noses, ears, heads. And we'll grow tentacals out of our arms! (Note: I said, tentacals, not testicals you sick fuc*)
You'll see book flavoured bubble tea or maybe books that taste like buble tea! THE WORLD WILL CHANGE FOREVER, AND EVER AND EVER. GET IT? ...


...

Whut.


-Renald

Uh, no. I've not revamped myself yet. And, yes. I'm still the same old loser.

Well well, as you would have seen from the ending of the previous post, Dedrick and the rest of the guys came to my house to do a.. certain "project". Turns out I didn't have Microsoft Word and we ended up playing poker cards and Wii. I took some videos of the Wii gaming, I'd be posting them up.. pretty soon. I think. If I ever get to do so.

So far I realised that there are MANY MANY things I said I would do but haven't got around doing it. For example.. that video blog idea. I apparently couldn't give a shit. I was supposed to do it today till the guys came around so.. there you go. A brilliant excuse for procrastination.

Another thing I haven't done is well, right beside me actually.

Yes mom, its my homework. Funny how I could be bothered to take a photo of my homework and post it up here while I'm too lazy to put in the videos. Oh well.

I've come up with this new plan for my current plight, I'm basically stuck between nowhere. So.. what I thought I'd do was to basically. Rewind time. Not by building a time machine or anything, you moron. But by, re-event the things and feelings and stuff like that. It probably wouldn't work but I figured it couldn't hurt more than it already does, am I right? ... I'm a moron. Aren't I.

Okay here the videos you've been craving (not) for.

ELYAS VS WENN HAO

ELYAS VS DEDRICK

RENALD VS ALFRED

HAHAHAHA. Yes we're losers. Cliquinity ftw.

-Renald

Well, Nomad nomad nomad.. It's all that's on our minds. What a night. *cough*. Well, two nights to be specific. The rehearsals, the prop making, everything was really really fun. Including being 'punctual to a certain extent'. Though that resulted in me losing a lot of roles. It don't matter tho.

I don't quite know how to explain it but NOMAD 2010 would be really etched in our memories forever. Inside jokes would start to appear among us, and other crap. The times staying in the classroom in the dark, telling riddles, playing Truth or Dare, watching movies and such. They were really fun.

Alright, nomad nomad nomad. That's enough. Let's move on guys!

Hold on a sec, I'm sure many of you would've went onto google or dictionary.com and searched for the meaning of nomad.. This would be what you have found.

NOMAD

1. a member of a people or tribe that has no permanent abode but moves about from place to place, usually seasonally and often following a traditional route or circuit according to the state of the pasturage or food supply.

2.any wanderer; itinerant.


Well, obviously our nomad doesn't include any of those things, I think. It stands for Night Of Music And Dance. Which I must say fits in really well, for an actual word.

Then I wondered, what if our event was called the "Production Orchestra Recording Night". There you go. Food for thought. "PORN 2010". LMAO.

To be honest I don't even know what food for thought means. But who cares, right?

Ugh, I thought there was finally a day to myself away from friends. Just me, books, and my mattress. Then Dedrick never bring key. And thus... Come my house do project that I'm not even involved in. Thanks a lot guys.

Whatever man. Bye.

-Renald